So last year I was lucky enough to be sitting on a lovely beach in St. Thomas, Virgin Islands; all by myself, getting my ocean zen on, and minding my own business. I noticed this guy walking down the beach. Huh, I think. He looks kind of like Sawyer from LOST. Nice.
He passes by in front of me, and says ‘hi’. I say hi back. As he passes I sigh, looking at my flabby middle aged tummy in my bikini and wishing it didn’t look so much like a flabby middle aged tummy. Ah well, it is what it is, back to the surf, sand and sun.
Not long after, Sawyer comes back up the beach and this time he stops and starts chatting with me. Am I from here, where am I from, what have I seen since I’ve been here…we have a conversation like people do when they are chit-chatting about life. I tell him my daughter is coming down to join me next week, and that I was disappointed that my husband couldn’t get enough vacation time to come along with me. Not long after this, he asks me if I might like to have dinner with him sometime. Like the ‘real’ Sawyer, what a cad!
I turn him down gently and off he goes back down the beach…my day MADE! I am happily married and have no desire to have a sordid tryst of any kind, but damn if that wasn’t good for the old ego. The last time a guy hit on me was probably about 10 years ago and he was—no joke here—around 80 years old.
I find it so funny that I was literally just feeling yucky and unattractive and a moment later some hot guy stops to (apparently!) flirt with me. And when I think about it, I don’t think it was a coincidence. Quite frankly, I had been owning that island. I went there all by myself, never having been there before—and it’s not like the U.S. I know, I’ll tell you that. I spent a lot of white-knuckle time on those crazy winding, twisty and turny, in-the-left-lane roads and found my way around. I explored new places, where even getting groceries was an adventure, and found as many beaches as I could. I felt lucky and blessed, happy, peaceful, full of joy, brave, adventurous, appreciative, and I totally lived in the moment.
When you feel that way, I believe it just literally oozes out of your pores. It’s contagious. It’s like you drink some kind of magical love potion and in turn it casts some kind of crazy magic spell on people around you. All of these things I’ve been feeling make a person very attractive, despite what kind of tummy they have.
Unfortunately we all can’t get away to a sunny island whenever we want to get a dose of this potion of love. The trick is to try to brew up a little bit on your own, in your everyday life. To find things that make you feel lucky, full of joy, brave and adventurous. Try something new! Cross off a bucket-list item! Challenge yourself! Take time to slow down and really be present with the people you love! Try to live in the moment, focusing on the good things that make you feel all of the above. That was my goal when I got home, to try to conjure up this magic as often as I could when I got back to reality so I could do my best to spread a little bit of that feel-good hocus-pocus around as much as possible.
What can you do to brew up a little love potion? Just be careful, it’s powerful stuff. Sawyer might just saunter his way over to you with his wiley ways…